I wanted to share with you my personal thoughts on today, my life, my message to my son Sean. Mon Coco d'amour, it's been 2 years since I last had a chance to hold you in my arms, giving you kisses and stroking your beautiful blond hair. Your courage and strength are something that I will always remember you by, you are my hero, my champion, mon Coco d'amour. The memories have been flooding back for the last couple of days. Yesterday in particular, because it was the day I had that gut feeling something was going to go wrong and sure enough that evening at 7:15 pm you crashed, had a tacycardia attack at over 255 while the nurse and I were turning you on your side like we did hundreds of times before. I remember so clearly your eyes turning to glass, blank, the nurse pushing the code blue button, and everyone rushing in, and me rushing out. Then in the hallway all I could hear was; again, again, again. They were using the defibrilator. An aide came to move me away from the hallway and brought me to the nurses station where I waited for what seemed a million years not knowing if you were still alive or not. They put me in the doctor's lounge and there I waited, I saw grandmaman arrive, she waited along with me. I cried, was shaking, had to lie down. The doctors later came in to tell me that you were still alive, barely. She had tried chest compressions, but it was very difficult because you had had surgery the week before and 4 days before this they had just closed up your chest. You were stable, but critical, your daddy arrived at some point, I can't remember when I called him. He was home with Kaitlyn. We were allowed to go see you for a bit, everything was a mess in the room, liquids everywhere, syringes, etc. They had your eyes covered with a cloth because of the bright lights, and your eyelids were flickering underneath. After 2 months of fighting you were exhausted and it was just not fair that you had to go through all of this, you deserved so much better. We were told to go get some rest and the 3 doctors would spend the night with you and let us know if anything happened. We had requested no more recessitation if it were to happen. When I got to the floor where I stayed, daddy went back home to Kaitlyn, and I stayed with grandmaman. I remember going to the balconey where we were allowed to smoke, because I had started again and fell to my knees on the balconey where I cried and wanted to scream, and asked God that if it was your time to wait till I was with you, and that I was okay with letting you go, after such a long fight you needed your peace and rest. I slept, not sure how much, and then grandmaman and I were in your room around 5 or 6 am, I think. Your daddy arrived, then the whole family was there. Daddy kept on looking at the tests results hoping something would change, but it just got worse, your heart rate was going lower and all I wanted was to hold you. So, they brought in a rocking chair, moved the other child in the room to another room, so the whole family could be by your side. Daddy opened up all the blinds to let in all the sunlight, the doctors and nurses started removing IV's and what they could without you leaving us, until they put you in my arms. Daddy finally let you go with an aching that I've never seen again before, and they put you in my arms, where I rocked you and smelled you and just LOVED you. You left this earth in my arms where you needed to be, I needed you to be there. Today, I went to visit you. Woke up in the morning it was pouring rain, then it started clearing up. When I got there, I cleaned your stone, put a blue butterfly in your vase and a single white rose for your purity and then sat down to write to you. There you were, you came to visit me, the rays of sun came shining down on my face. I smiled, I knew it was you sending me a great big hug, there's no other explanation, not to me. I love you dearly and will always and forever hold you in my heart till we meet and I get to hold you again. LOVE FOREVER AND ALWAYS Maman xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
And you had to leave behind all those you dearly loved
You had so much to live for, you had so much to do . . .
It still seems impossible that God was taking you.
And though your life on earth is past, in Heaven it starts anew
You'll live for all eternity, just as God has promised you.
And though you've walked through Heaven's gate
We are never far apart
For every time I think of you,
You're right here, deep with-in my heart.
Je T'aime mon Coco d'amour, pour toujours ! Maman xxxxx Close
Dedicated to the mothers who have lost a child & have somehow survived / Maman (maman)Read >>
Dedicated to the mothers who have lost a child & have somehow survived / Maman (maman)
"My Mom is a Survivor"
My Mom is a survivor, or so I've heard it said. But I can hear her crying at night when all others are in bed.
I watch her lay awake at night and go to hold her hand. She doesn't know I'm with her to help her understand.
But like the sands on the beach that never wash away... I watch over my surviving mom, who thinks of me each day.
She wears a smile for others... a smile of disguise! But through Heaven's door I see tears flowing from her eyes.
My mom tries to cope with death to keep my memory alive. But anyone who knows her knows it is her way to survive.
As I watch over my surviving mom through Heaven's open door... I try to tell her that angels protect me forevermore.
I know that doesn't help her... or ease the burden she bears. So if you get a chance, go visit her... and show her that you care.
For no matter what she says... no matter what she feels. My surviving mom has a broken heart that time won't ever heal.
By Kaye Des'Ormeaux October 15, 1998
Dedicated to the mothers who have lost a child & have somehow survived Close
So Sad for your loss / Michele~ Gramma To Angel (passerby)Read >>
So Sad for your loss / Michele~ Gramma To Angel (passerby)
May you angel watch over you and guide you thru the darkness. Precious angel Sean...please visit my angel's memorial at: http://jordan-ezra-taffe.memory-of.com/ and lite a candle for these sweet lil angels. Peace and blessings to you. Close
In my prayers / Michele Adam (gramma to angel Jordan )Read >>
In my prayers / Michele Adam (gramma to angel Jordan )
Baby Sean is so beautiful...so sad to lose him..my heart goes out to you. i know the pain of losing a grandaughter at 28 days old,Jordan passed on 01/02/07 of SIDS,sudden infant death. Our family will never be the same without her.God bless you & your family..I pray for strength and peace for you.....Blessings to you Close
For Our Champion ! / Maman
If Tears Could Build A Stairway, And Memories A Lane, I'd Walk Right Up To Heaven And Bring You Home Again.
In tears I saw you sinking, I watched you fade away. You suffered much in silence, you fought so hard to stay. You faced your task with courage. Your spirit did not bend, and still you kept on fighting until the very end. God saw you getting tired. When a cure was not to be. So he put his arms around you and whispered "come to me". So when I saw you sleeping So peaceful, free from pain. I could not wish you back to suffer that again
God saw that you were getting tired, And a recovery was not to be. So he put His arms around you And whispered, "Come home with me." With tearful eyes, we watched you suffer And saw you fade away. Although we loved you dearly, We could not make you stay. A golden heart stopped beating: A determined spirit is at rest. God broke our hearts to prove to us He only takes the best
Mylène (Mel) Maman (Sean 11-09-04 / 07-08-05) http://sean-lockhart.memory-of.com/about.aspx & Scott -Rainbow baby, born Dec 20th, 2006 "Some people only dream of angels, I held one in my arms" "Il y des gens qui rêvent aux anges, moi j'en ai tenu un dans mes bras" Close
An Easter wish / Rosemary Sis Of ^j^ Alvin Cremeans Read >>
An Easter wish / Rosemary Sis Of ^j^ Alvin Cremeans
Thank you so much for visiting my son's website. It means so much to know people like yourself care so much. I am happy to know our sons are playing together in heaven! Your son is beautiful!
Mom to another mom / Julia Brammer Mum 2. Angel Emily (passing through )
My heart goes out to your family. I have to say what a wonderful little man. He had so much love in his eye's. I see it in his pic of him. What joy he bought to your family and friend of his. I will say now my emily has one to love in heaven. May light of your angel shine on you from heaven. You are in our prayers. Close
Please just let me cry / Maman
Please, don't ask me if I'm over it, I'll never get over it, Please, don't tell me he is in a better place, He isn't with me, Please, don't say at least he isn't suffering, I haven't come to terms with Why he had to suffer at all, Please, don't tell me you know how I feel, Unless you have lost your child, Please, don't ask me if I feel better, Bereavement isn't a condition that clears up, Please, don't tell me you had him for some time, What day would you choose for your child to die? Please, don't tell me God never gives more than we can bear, Please, just say you are sorry, Please, just let me talk about my child, Please, mention Sean's name, Please just let me cry,
Love you forever and always Mon Coco d'amour, sending you BIG hugs and eskimo kisses !
Dear Sean / Darren Huculak (Friend and Admirer )Read >>
Dear Sean / Darren Huculak (Friend and Admirer )
Hi Sean!
I just wanted to let you know that, like countless others I am sure, your courage and love of life touched me deeply, though I never had the chance to meet you personally.
When I lived in Montreal I worked with your MaMa, and so I know first hand how bright your smile is, and how big your heart is, because I saw those same qualities in your Mom.
Did you know my middle name is also Joseph? Neat, hey!
One day I am sure I'll get to meet you when you and your family are togethor again in a better place.
A brief moment of darkness was all that I knew, before Heaven's Gate came into my view. Loved ones and friends I had missed for many years, welcomed me with open arms and many happy tears. All the hurt, fear, and pain that I have ever known, is gone from my life, I am finally home. I gazed upon the Lord's sweet smiling face, and for the first time in my life I knew and felt His grace. I know that you miss me, but please dry your eyes. I will always be watching and loving you from my new home in the sky. A cool breeze on your face, a touch of light rain, I will send as a reminder that we will be united again. Life on earth is but one brief moment in time, I am finally home, Eternity is mine.
Beautiful Baby Sean / Melissa Eason (Cooper's Mummy )Read >>
Beautiful Baby Sean / Melissa Eason (Cooper's Mummy )
Thank you for your beautiful message on my son, Cooper's website. I'm sorry for the loss of your beautiful baby Sean. I've never seen a more beautiful smile!
You are right, I hate the saying "Time Heals all Pain". Nothing will heal a broken heart and spirit.
It's crazy this world that we now live in. It's a world of pain and torture and it blows me away just how many people have lost their children. Why why why? Why do any of us have to live through this?
I can't believe this New Year's Eve in Sydney they are basing the fireworks etc on Cooper's favourite movie, The Wizard of Oz. I wonder how much Sean & Cooper have to do with all these wonderful signs.
After learning about Sean from his website it is obvious that he was a beautiful soul. I'm very happy for you that you are expecting another bundle of joy. My prayers are with you. I'm sure Sean will be proud of his baby brother and will be his special guardian angel.
Happy Birthday to You! / Janice Barham ~. Mommy To Isabella (Another Angel Family )Read >>
Happy Birthday to You! / Janice Barham ~. Mommy To Isabella (Another Angel Family )
"Happy Birthday To You! Happy Birthday To You! Happy Birthday Dear Sean Happy Birthday To You!"
Happy 2nd Birthday Sean!! I am sure that you and all of the other Angels had a grand celebration! Wrap your Angel wings around your Mommy, Daddy and Big Sister and hold them close! They love you and miss you!!
Sincerely, Janice Barham Mommy to an Angel ~ Isabella
Happy Birthday Sean! Look for my Matthew up there, He always loved the little babies! He always made them smile. and they always loved him. He will guide you straight to Jesus. He is our guardian angel, just like you are for your mum and dad. Have the best birthday ever! And with Jesus throwing the party, I know you will have the best one! Send lots of love to your mum and dad...they miss you so. Take care little man...and tell my Matthew Hello for me. Close
Tribute from Craig & Jeff's mum! / Lorraine Kelly (Friend to your mom )Read >>
Tribute from Craig & Jeff's mum! / Lorraine Kelly (Friend to your mom )
My dear Mylene, the tears are rolling down my face as I read this beautiful tribute to Sean! He was such a beautiful "earth" angel but know that he is one of Heaven's best. I am very sure that my angels, Craig & Jeff will be taking care of him now. (They were both such great dads to their own little boys!) I know that they will take care of the little boy of a lady who I feel so close too! (Sure hope Sean enjoys fishing though, as I know that is what my sons always enjoyed and loved to take their own sons to enjoy this past-time!) Love & hugs, Lorraine Close
What a beautiful little baby you were here upon earth Sean. I am sure you are one of the most beautiful Angels in Heaven too. My heart hurts for you dear family though who love and miss you so very much. Be close to them and help them to find some comfort in knowing you are with our Heavenly Father but you will also live forever in their hearts. My sincere thoughts and prayers to your dear loved ones. Hugs on such a hard day. Rosemary sis of http://alvin-cremeans-jr.memory-of.com/
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